Andraste's Tears
by Fumbles
Summary: A fanfiction dealing primarily with Leliana after the Death of The Warden Frewyn Cousland , My take on Leliana's epilogue after my first playthrough.
1. Chapter 1

**Andraste's Tears**

**~~==Prologue==~~**

Frewyn Cousland stood motionless, catching his breath as he watched the scene that played out in the sky before him. The Archdemon thrashed and buckled trying to shed itself of the Grey Warden who had plunged from the heavens and onto it's back. The Archdemon roared in fury and agony as Frewyn watched transfixed as Riordan's figure plunged it's blade deep into the Darkspawn's back. The Archdemon now became more frantic and aggressive in it's attempt to dislodge the stowaway as Riordan began to repeatedly skewer the scaly skin, searching for its black heart.

The battle that raged around him was lost to his senses as he watched in horror as the Archdemon clipped against the looming tower above him, connecting with a sickening crunch and howl of agony. He could not turn his eyes away from the spectacle - he was transfixed and yet he felt as if something inside him was pulling him towards the cry of the Archdemon. Time slowed down to a trickle. The debris from the tower dislodged and the stone and mortar began falling like snow from the heavens, "Frewyn!" he heard his name but did not answer as he continued to stare open mouthed. And then he felt it. As time caught up with him once again.

* * *

The blow to his left side took him by surprise, knocking him off his feet and carrying him through the air until he connected with the hard, blood stained cobbles of the courtyard. "I thought you said you would be the one looking after me, no?" the voice brought him back from his stupor and he suddenly became aware of the petite figure who was now on top of him. Leliana. The dust began to settle around them and she picked herself off the Warden beneath her and extended her hand in offering to him. He grasped her hand feeling her remarkably soft skin meet with his battle hardened grip, he looked up at her, their eyes meeting; she was covered head to toe in Darkspawn blood and all the hall marks of battle however to Frewyn she would always be as Pristine as the first moment she had approached him in the tavern in Lothering.

Now on his feet he saw where he had been standing, instead now in his place was enough bedrock and stone to crush even several Qunari with minimal effort. Leliana looked at him, her forhead wrinkled betraying her emotions showing she was concerned, she turned her head slightly hoping to mask the expression on her face, "You and Alistair" she began, "You both… Froze to the spot and looked up as if you had been petrified". Frewyn glanced over her shoulder as she spoke and saw Wynne kneeling beside the King who looked like he was about to be sick. He couldn't explain it. All he knew was that as soon as he heard the call of the Archdemon he had felt so close to it… He couldn't take his eyes from it or move, it was as if it was calling to him, beckoning his spirit and demanding obedience. Could it be the taint? Quite possible he thought as he recalled when he first saw the Archdemon while in the Deep Roads of Orzammar, he recalled its cry and remembered how he felt it was almost enchanting. Whatever happened after today, the Warden's would need to address this issue

The loudest cry from the Archdemon yet filled the sky. This time, everyone looked up. The Archdemon was now climbing high in the sky as fast as it could. The now weakened figure of Riordan was becoming more and more difficult to see as they climbed towards the clouds, he was holding on for all he was worth his hands wrapped around the hilt and pommel of his sword that was encased in the scaly flesh of the Archdemon. And then it happened. The sword lost it's grip in its host and slowly began to tear down the icy flesh before picking up speed as the Dragon continued its ascent but still Riordan held on to the sword with all his strength. And then it was over. The sword left the body. The Archdemon screamed in pain. Riordan fell. And so did his foe. The figures looked like tears falling from Andraste herself as they penetrated the cloud line shrouded in pain and bravery. Two tears that showed this war for what it was. One tear for evil. And one tear for bravery and sacrifice.


	2. Chapter 2

**~~==Chapter One==~~**

Leliana stared into the fire. She loved watching how the orange and red flames danced and intertwined around one another and the melody of crackling wood set the score for the night sky. She harked back to when she was a child and the long nights she had spent sat in her mother's lap listening to her stories while her mother slowly ran a comb through her long red childish hair. The comb was one of the most vivid memories she had from those nights with her mother; she recalled the feeling as the wide teeth of the comb slowly slid into her hair at the top and then slowly and blissfully moved down like a hot knife through butter. "This is how it must feel to be a princess" she had thought to herself as she would look up at her mother and smiled. Her Mother's face slowly cracked into a warm smile as she kissed her lovingly on the forehead sending a rush of childish affection and contentment through every nerve in her body as she was protectively embraced in a way that could only come from a Mother's love.

As she sat on her Mother's lap they both stared into the fireplace and listened to the sound as the dried wood crackled and popped in the silence of their presence. The silence was calm and the atmosphere warm almost relaxing she inhaled feeling the warmth of the fireplace to her front and the warmth of the motherly embrace on her back. The sat in silence for sometime and Leliana felt herself slowly falling asleep. Her Mother sighed contentedly as she felt Leliana's small body relax in her arms, "Leliana? Are you asleep?" she gently enquired. "No…" she lied as she rubbed her eyes drowsily with the back of her hands. "Well then" her Mother continued, "Would you like to hear a story?". At this offer Leliana perked up, "A story? Yes please" although despite her eagerness she found it impossible to stifle her yawn. Her Mother smiled.

"Well" she adventured her tone drawn out in a thoughtful way, "Did I tell you the story of King Gwenden and the Mage?" Leliana wrinkled her nose, "Yes, you told me when you tucked me into bed two nights ago. The Mage cast a spell and turned Gwenden into a Nug and the only way to turn him back was for the princess to kiss him" she giggled at the thought of this; she thought Nugs were cute and thought about owning her own one day when she grew up even though she had only heard stories and seen paintings of them. "Okay then" her Mother continued, "How about the story about Ddraig, King of the Dragons?" Leliana paused, she hummed and wrinkled her nose deep in thought considering this for a while before she cautiously gave her answer, "No I don't think so". "Okay" her Mother said. "Then I will begin…"

* * *

The memory faded and she looked around herself checking her surroundings and regaining her bearings. It was her turn to stand guard and she had been day dreaming she cursed at herself for letting her guard down and daydreaming; she was putting her friends at risk by being so nostalgic. She let out a long sigh, because most of all she was putting Frewyn at risk. They had only been travelling together for several months but already she felt that the gap that had followed her around her entire life had finally been filled. She smiled inwardly at the thought of his embrace, recalling how he caressed her tenderly and pressed his lips to hers as his masculine fingers entwined in her hair.

The cracking of a twig on the ground to her left quickly made her snap back to her senses; in one fluid motion she swung her body to face left as she drew back an arrow in her bow and tensed. Ready to fire. "Who's there?!" She demanded in an assertive voice, no answer came but she could just barely distinguish a figure moving in the darkness growing larger as it loomed towards her. "Show yourself or I'll shoot" she hissed more aggressively than before. Out of the blackness a familiar frame came into view. His long wild brown hair was the first feature she could make out, it fell just ever so slightly over his brow… and then yes, his deep green soulful eyes. She felt her bow slacken. "I hope I didn't startle you" Frewyn said gently as he cracked a rather mischievous smile as their eyes met. Leliana suddenly felt her face begin to turn a blushing scarlet which she was sure would make her look brighter than the flames of the small fire beside her.

Frewyn sat down beside her and shuffled along, closing the gap between their bodies. "I came to tell you its my turn to stand guard. You look tired, you should get some rest" she looked down still embarrassed by him catching her off guard. "You know" she began, "I really wasn't going to shoot you know" Frewyn chuckled putting his arm around her shoulders, "I know…" he said as she slowly turned her head into his body absorbing his love and embrace with all her essence of being. "I want to stay here with you" she murmured, "It gets too lonely in my tent when you're not there… I have" she paused "It doesn't matter". "What?" he asked as she felt his fingers slowly caressing her shoulder and stroking her neck as they went higher. "I have…" she paused again not sure if she should tell him about the visions she had and wondered whether he would think she was crazy like the rest of them did. "I have nightmares…." she said abruptly feeling ashamed of herself for making herself appear vulnerable in front of her Warden.

"Me too" came his reply almost sombre reply. "I dream I'm back home and I can see my family all slain before me and all the while my ears are filled with sound of Arl Howe's laughter and repeated taunting." he sighed and she felt him slowly fidget in embarrassment; she knew how he tried to show his sensitive side when he was around her but he felt embarrassed at times because he worried it made him appear weak especially for a Grey Warden. That's one of the things she loved most about him… He always seemed to find a way of making himself feel like more of a fool so as to take her attention away from her own embarrassment and she adored him for all those little personal sacrifices he made for her. It was her turn. She took a large reassuring breath and then began. "I dream I'm travelling the land looking for you. At every turn there is hope and then at the next disappointment. I see you but I cannot touch you and I don't know what to do with myself" she sighed waiting for his response where he would most likely tease her and laugh like other people did when she told them of her dreams and her visions but no sound came. Instead she felt his arm tighten around her once more and then his lips brushing her forehead. She felt herself relax in his arms and then the tiredness began to sink in and although she tried to fight the heaviness of her eyse she peacefully drifted into the dream world.

When she awoke it was still dark and the fire was still burning and she could still feel his arm around her, she wanted to pretend she was still asleep and let this moment last forever. Eventually she set herself upright and looked at him groggily through her tired eyes. "How long was I asleep?" she asked as Frewyn looked up at her from the fire. "Oh" he muttered as the cogs in his mind began to work causing him to wrinkle his face in thought, "Only an hour or so" he smiled. There was a silence as they both continued to look into the fire and their surroundings checking for any sign of Darkspawn or bandits that could be trying to creep up on them. Finally Frewyn cleared his throat and looked at her, "You do know you talk in your sleep right?" a teasing smile spread across his face as he said this and Leliana felt herself cringe. "No I did not." she said rather agitated her heart racing wondering what he had heard praying to the maker that it was not another one of her nightmares.

"Who's Ddraig?" he asked. She felt herself relax knowing that he had not heard her at her most vulnerable. "Ddraig" she began, "He was King of the Dragons, a story my mother told me before she…" she paused feeling her heart drop at the loss, "Would you like to hear the tale?". Frewyn smiled at her, "Of course, you know how I love your stories" he said warmly. And then a thought hit her and she gasped, "Hold on!!" she exclaimed excitedly as she got to her feet, "Wait here!" she squeeled like a child as she took off at full speed back towards the main camp full of excitement for the suprise. The wind was in her hair and she made the camp in quick time reaching her tent and leaping inside before she rummaged around like a bandit at a treasure hunt. Finally she found it and grasped the small objected and clutched it tightly to her chest excited for this opportunity, one that didn't come often enough. Once again she was back out into the night air, making her way back to the guard post and to Frewyn. Her smile covered her whole face as she sat back down beside him at the fire, "What are you smiling about" he asked looking as if he was trying to refrain from bursting into laughter just from seeing how childlike and excited she was about this story and the surprise she had in store. Her smile spread across her face as she slowly produced a small wooden flute, "IT. HAS. MUSIC!" she burst out sounding like a child. She slowly brought the flute to her lips and began to play the tune to the story. The piece started off very bold and almost forceful but then it descended into an almost sombre death march. She watched his changing expression and watched as he became enthralled in the tune, just as she had when she was a child. Finally the piece ended on a rather dramatic and abrupt note. She took the flute down from her mouth and began her story.

* * *

"Long ago before there were kings of man, dwarf, or elf the Dragons ruled this land and were noble intelligent creatures not the Dragon's that we know today. They were passive and docile creatures who looked after the Maker's creations and ensured that the natural order was maintained, they could fly but that was the extent of their powers. They worked for several age's in harmony with nature and guided all living things. One of those Dragons was known as Ddraig. He was no different from any other Dragon but he had a fond love of adventuring and trying to go where no other Dragon had ever travelled; his journeys often ended badly for him usually resulting in him becoming lost and because of this he became known to his kin as 'The Wandering Ddraig' a title he treated with the utmost pride.

One day Ddraig set off on a journey that took him futher west than any other Dragon in living memory had travelled. He travelled over forest, mountain and ocean and it was many weeks before he reached a new land, one that he had never seen before. As he was flying over an open clearing he noticed an odd looking creature that he had never seen before that was neither bear nor wolf nor Halla. These creatures stood upright and had only two legs not four and they had fur that only covered the tops of their heads." Leliana paused for breath feeling the cool night air fill her lungs, "They were Humans right?" Frewyn ventured. She noticed he had been until this point sitting with his mouth slightly open obviously becoming absorbed in the story, "Quiet! Let me finish the story first" she teasingly snapped and scolded him, "As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted" she gave him a cheeky scolding glance, "Ddraig flew down to look closer at these peculiar creatures, however when they saw him they ran away in fear of his tremendous size and shadow. But then he used the power of 'MindThought' a power that the maker had bestowed upon the Dragons so that they could communicate with all his creations by using only their thoughts and soul. The creatures began to calm and they drew close to Ddraig knowing that he meant no harm but would like to merely greet them, he could see them clearly now. Some wore strange materials over their skin and some held rudimentary tools and he knew he must report this to the elders of his discovery and decide what to do with these new creations. So with a promise that he would return he took off and flew for several visits of the sun until he reached The Great Mountaintop where the eldest of the Dragons housed. The elders had all be the makers very first creations and all the Dragons believed that the Maker had given each of these 4 Dragons all his wisdom and teachings.

When Ddraig told the elders of what he had found Thrall the Shepherd, Uberik the Watcher and Berig the Merciful were excited by this new development that a seemingly intelligent creature had been discovered and were interested to see how they could respond to being educated in the ways of science and crafting by the Dragons and teaching them of the Maker. However the oldest and wisest of the elders, Retupik the Wise thought that it would be a very bad idea to rush into such action, and that these creatures should be observed from a distance for at least another two ages so that they could learn their mind.

However the other Dragons were impatient and excited by the prospect of intelligent creations besides themselves and it was not long before the other three elders quickly over ruled Retupik and the Dragon race began to interact with these new creatures. First they taught them of nature and how to shelter themselves from the elements; then they taught them the power of communicating and to much surprise to the Dragons a select few of the creatures showed the ability to learn and use 'MindThought' a feat which impressed the Dragons causing some to believe that these creatures were made in the shape and mind of the Maker himself. Next the Dragons the creatures to learn science and medicine so they could extend their lives and treat their wounds and over time small settlements began to turn into villages and beyond.

The Dragons began to refer to these creatures as Humans, a name which the elders had bestowed upon them. The Dragons made an agreement with the humans that in return for their teachings they had to abide by one rule and one rule alone. The Dragon's explained to them that they were not to kill an of the Maker's Halla as the Dragon's believed that the Maker held the Halla in the highest regard of any of his creations and they were sacred animals not to be harmed by the humans for food or any other product. At first this law was adhered to by the humans and the Dragons continued to teach them.

However over time, some Humans began to breach these laws and despite the peaceful insistance that they ceased, more Human's decided to follow suit insisting that the blood of the Halla had healing properties and some even began to question the existence of such a maker, such was the result of the Dragons teaching them philosophy. The Humans began to see the Dragons as unnecessary overseers who stopped them from living how they wanted without question and the uprising began. The Dragon's now found that the knowledge that they had imparted upon the humans was now turned against the them in the form of weapons and slaughter and the medicine they taught them was now used to make poisions to slay the peaceful and docile Dragon's as they pleaded with the Humans to stop." Leliana paused, she looked at Frewyn who was leaning forward hanging on every word. He was so sweet to listen to her stories, she smiled and he smiled back at her. She took another deep breath and continued.

"As more and more Dragon's were hunted and slaughtered by the Human's their numbers began to dwindle and shrink until the last remaining Dragon's found themselves trapped inside the great mountaintop with the Human's bearing down upon them ready to kill the last of the Dragons and be free of their supervision. Inside this mountaintop Ddraig now found himself, now a captive of the creatures he had first found all those ages ago. He wept at their new found hatred for him and his kin, they had given the Human's science, medicine and what was now becoming known as magic; however they had also taught them emotion such as hate and loathe. Ddraig felt powerless to stop the carnage and in a hopeless attempt to prevent the death of his kin, Ddraig fell with his head towards the sky and cried out to the Maker to grant the Dragon's the ability to defend themselves to stop the slaughter and in return he would give his soul to the maker for all eternity.

A blinding flash shone down upon the great mountaintop blinding all those around it and the maker appeared in a vision before Ddraig their eyes met and Ddraig saw pity and sorrow in the Maker's eyes. "Ddraig my child I have heard your prayer. Your will is true and your cause just however there is a price that must be paid for the gift I am about to give you as well as your soul" Ddraig wept before the feet of the Maker his tears running down his scaly flesh and onto the feet of the Maker "Yes my Maker, anything you ask I beseech thee to save my kin". The Maker brought his hand towards Ddraig and reached inside him and touched his soul. Ddraig felt a burning sensation in his chest and his body began to tremble as his teeth grew longer and sharper and his claws began to sprout from his paws. He roared in agony as his tail became elongated and spiny barbs began to appear on the end. He looked around him and at his kin who were also writhing in agony as they began to transform. The Maker looked down upon him and gently stroked Ddraig's long face "Very well Ddraig, I grant you and your kin the ability to breath fire which will terrify those who see you. I give your sharp claws and teeth to cut down those who try to harm you and finally I give you your tail with which you can sweep even the mightiest human away with. All creatures will fear and you will be able to protect yourselves but in forfeit I take the knowledge and emotion bestowed upon you and your kin and their children will be forever hunted by the Creatures of this world. In return for your soul and eternal servitude, you will be no longer known as Ddraig the Wanderer; you will become known as Ddraig, King of the Dragons and all will fear you."

* * *

Leliana breathed a contented sigh, "And that my love is how it ends.". Frewyn stared at for a moment open mouthed making her start to wonder if he was petrified, "So what happened then!?" he quickly blurted out before regaining his composure making her chuckle at his eagerness for more.

"Well…" She began, "Ddraig successfully defended himself and his kin and they drove the humans back before they went into hiding, forever changed a shadow of their former selves. And then when the time came and Ddraig passed from this life to the next he served the Maker as he promised." Frewyn's face contorted "But how did he serve him, I'm confused?". She pointed towards the clear night sky, "Look up" she commanded and they both directed their eyes towards the night sky, "Do you see those 8 stars right there? The ones that look like a snake?" she asked. Frewyn nodded and grunted "Yeah I see them", "Well, they say that as King of the Dragons Ddraig's soul was turned into those 8 stars as the constellation of the Dragon so that he would be forever looking down upon his kin and defending them just as he wished until the day the world ends." She smiled, "it's a romantic story no?" Frewyn muttered something under his breath that sounded a little like, "If perhaps a little depressing" before once more moving closer to her and they began to look into the slowly dying embers of the fire.

After a time they found themselves staring up into the night sky. He was silent and she began to wonder if he had fallen asleep but then he slowly said, "We have a star you know?" She felt her face scrunch up inquisitively, "What do you mean 'we' have a star?", "My family." He said, "That one just there" he raised his free arm and pointed at the brightest star in the sky. "When I was young my father used to tell me that star is the soul of the founder of the Cousland bloodline line and when we die our souls join our ancestors and the star shines even brighter than before." He trailed off, she wanted to press him for more but she could see this was bringing back the memories of his family again and she felt her heart bleed for him every time she could see the lost and pained expression on his face. Thing went back to being quiet and she almost forgot where they were, it didn't feel like guard duty to her anymore even if hers finished hours ago she felt as if they could have been a million miles from here just the two of them sharing an intimate moment and reprieve from all the horrors and sacrifices of this world.

"How come you get to have female company on guard duty and all I get is a surely Dwarf!?" The voice from behind her jump, she had just been drifting off to sleep once more when the voice had startled her. It was Zevran, she felt embarrassed and made a mental note that she had to stop letting people sneak up on her it wasn't good for her health. "Good evening Zev!" she watched as Frewyn called out to the elf and stood up to greet Zevran with a cheerful reply. "So…" Zevran began slowly speaking as if he felt he was unsure whether he should be present at this intimate moment, "It's my turn for the duty of the guard, yes?" he said as he plopped himself down between the two of them. Leliana grumbled, she was so comfortable and she didn't want to get up but the allure of a nice warm tent with her love seemed more appetizing at the moment. She stood up and wrapped her arm around Frewyn's clinging to him to make up for the heat she was losing from not being beside the cosy fire anymore. "See you in the morning Zev" she called looking back over her shoulder at the elf who sat down by the fire casting a lonely and solitary figure. She felt sorry for him sometimes he had a suave almost egotistical personality and yet she detected a certain loneliness to him that she was sure he only showed when he thought no one was watching.

She and Frewyn slowly made their way back to the main camp some one hundred metres away from where the small makeshift guard post had been located, as they reached their tent she looked up into the night sky and saw that the stars were slowly beginning to fade and daybreak would soon be upon them. "We have three hours until first light" she mentioned as they both stood outside the tent looking up at the changing fluorescence of the sky, she caught his glance as they both looked down at one another, "What are you getting at?" Frewyn said as a knowing yet mischievous look was trying to break onto his face, "Well… What I'm saying is, why waste it with such a silly thing as sleep?" she said battering her eyelids and pouting her lips

* * *

Inside the tent they embraced, her heart was racing as his lips pressed against her neck and slowly moved down her body showering her with the love and adoration she had become accustomed to in their current short time together. She moaned as their lips locked passionately as they gently caressed each others bodies. She broke the kiss, "I love you…" she said looking deep into his eyes, Frewyn smiled slyly blushing a little and he paused, she knew he wanted to say it too but she could see he was unsure if it would make him look foolish. "I love you too" he said smiling from ear to ear which sent a ripple of delight through her body, it was the first time they had both said it and now she felt like her world was complete. And then it began to happen again. Frewyn slowly began to fade and the tent around her dissolve, she cried and screamed for him to come back, she was on her own, she couldn't find him she was surrounded by the blackness. She wouldn't let go of this memory, she couldn't but she had to open her eyes she had to face what was there in front of her. She wept in the darkness of his faded memory refusing to open her eyes until she knew she had no choice but to pry them open and accept the reality that was in front of her and that she would have stop living in this memory that was now behind her. No matter how painful.

This was real. She stood in the courtyard with her companions around her, there were others as well; mostly well wishers and townspeople. She could not care less for who they were and where they were from all she could see now was Alistair stood at the front of the crowd wearing his ceremonial regal armour and as she started their gazes met. He called for the attention of the congregation and all fell silent. She felt the warm gently hand of Wynne placed on her shoulder gently rubbing and comforting her but she couldn't take her eyes from the table that lay in front of Alistair. She watched as he took a deep breath.

"My friends. We are all here…."


	3. Chapter 3

**~~==Chapter 2==~~**

The air around the congregation was still as the King delivered his eulogy. Not a single person in the crowd stirred and the aura of respect and tribute was almost thick in the air. Leliana cast a solitary figure in the crowd, any onlooker would not think that she was surrounded by people including the closest of her companions as she wore the look of a soul hopelessly lost in a sea of abyss. She wore a grey tone to her skin that made her appear ill and frail an image that was almost a contradiction to the lively, energetic, playful soul that usually possessed her character.

"…_We are all here to pay our respects to the Grey Warden who saved us all…" _Alistair's opening words echoed through the silence each syllable cutting into her and slowly ebbing away at her resolve. She looked up. In front of her Frewyn laid bare and extinct of all life, no spark in his eyes his once ragged hair now a tidy pile that fell gently across his head; his armour shined brilliantly and heroically with no trace of the battle that he had endured. But there was no life in him now.

"…_He gave his life to destroy the Blight…" _She felt numb inside, so many questions that ran around her head. Why didn't he tell her this would happen, surely he knew? Perhaps he had not wanted to trouble her? Perhaps he had known that her reaction would have been to stop him, to never let him out of her grip for fear that he would slay the Archdemon and give his life. It all made sense to her now, the words he had spoken to her on top of the tower before he had launched the final attack on the Archdemon. She had watched as he and Alistair argued frantically before Alistair had backed down. Anger rose inside her now, why did he back down, why did Alistair let him do it when surely he knew the cost? She closed her eyes tightly now fighting back the tears and the anger she felt welling up inside her like an untamed storm.

"…_A sacrifice we must never forget…"_ She couldn't stop them now, she felt the heaviness under her eyelids and then felt as the warm wetness began to slowly creep down her face. She felt ashamed as she brushed the tears away from her face trying to hide her weakness in front of her companions. She felt Wynne's hand tighten upon her shoulder and her soft voice in her ear, "It's okay child, we all understand" she inwardly cursed at the old mage's sentimentality and she wondered who else could see the tears that now so freely flowed out of her. She felt like her heart was going to stop and could feel as the anguish began to slowly work its way up her body.

"…_He was special and each us had our life touched by him in some way…" _Around her she heard the murmur of some of her companions and she felt the air full of the sorrow that connected them, the burden that now laid heavy on all their emotions and feelings. She wondered how Alistair could do it. How he could stand there and talk; she was only listening to him and she felt like she wanted to curl into a small ball and let it all out. But she wouldn't. Her love deserved more than that, she would not let him down and embarrass herself in front of all these people, she would carry herself as best she could; there would be time to grieve when she was alone.

"…_I would like to call forward Fergus Cousland…"_ Leliana felt her heart stop as she watched as a figure not so different from Frewyn stood forward. He carried a shield with the Cousland coat of arms on it, an almost identical one to that Frewyn had carried on occasion when they were battling the Darkspawn blight. She wanted to tell Fergus how sorry she was and how Frewyn had spoke often about him and their times together; she wanted to tell him how sorry she was that she did not stop him from carrying out his fatal plan that had now severed all chances of them meeting again. She felt a new sensation in her heart, she now felt guilt. She should have prevented all this; there had surely been another way, her love did not have to die like that.

She stood silently and watched the rest of Alistair's speech through clouded eyes fighting back her emotion at every turn or was it simply the numbness of loss that she now felt, her heart shattered into a million fragments. At the end of his speech Alistair asked for a moments silence to remember 'The Hero of Ferelden' and soon after the congregation of people began to slowly depart, their numbers dwindling until only herself and her companions were left. There was a respectful quiet as she and her companions watched as Alistair approached them amidst the disappearing crowd. They all shared a mutual feeling of loss but she couldn't help but feel that everyone was staring at her as if they were just waiting for her to crack and explode like lightening from a magi's hands.

"Well…" Alistair said, addressing them all, "It's done." He paused and looked straight at her, apprehension in his eyes almost as if he feared her response to how she would react to what he had to say next. "We're going to move his body to the Chapel's Sanctuary now, in preparation for the funeral pyre tomorrow." each word felt like a dagger in the heart to her as he said this, "The Royal Guard will be here to escort his body soon…" he said uncertainly. She cleared her throat, "I'll carry his body to the chapel" she said feeling as if every syllable had to be forced out as her throat ran dry. There was a silence from her companions before a gruff voice spoke up, "Me too" she looked over at Oghren, the dwarf, his face normally hardened now wore a sombre heartfelt expression on his face. "I will too." said Wynne who was still stood behind her now removing her hand from Leliana's shoulder.

One by one her companions all spoke up and agreed to help carry the body of their friend, their faces all carrying a mournful expression. And that's how it came to be that as the sun began to fall on a mild spring eve that they each took hold of Frewyn's body and hoisted him into the air as they began to carry him towards the Chapel and his final resting place. Leliana didn't want this any other way; she couldn't bare the thought of anyone but her and Frewyn's companions carrying him there, the thought of strangers man handling or doing anything wrong angered her.

As they arrived at the Chapel, they placed his body in a private room adorned with flowers and various coronations where he would lie in state until the next evening. "You all have time to say your own goodbyes" Alistair announced as they admired the room that was adorned with coronations and flowers to celebrate the 'Hero of Ferelden'. Leliana took a deep breath, "I would like to go last." she announced void of any emotion feeling her heart weigh heavy in her chest she wanted to be the one to see him last. It felt only right.


End file.
